Friday, 29 October 2010

I've just come across this on my fellow Kernow reprobate Jack Johns blogsite, just loved it so i thought i would share it with you as well.

His blogsite has some other interesting things on it as well, well worth a look. Heirstoall

Foals - Blue Blood from Blink on Vimeo.

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Slut Clothing

I've been a lucky boy recently. My friends and mighty nice sponsors at Slut Clothing have sent me a few new items and some abusive stickers to lighten up even the most serious of situations like cop cars, public informations signs and old people when they're not looking.

I've yet to use them to there full extent but i have plans and photo evidence will be available soon. I just have to find a drunk old local that doesn't think i'm gay when I slap a big cock sticker on they're back without them realising and then proceed to take elaborate photos of them in awkward situations/positions, pretty hard in Exmouth i must say, but i will win through! Just don't try this idea at home as old people can easily be mistaken for weak and feeble but they are certainly not all like that!

Besides that, I do genuinely feel privileged to be part of the Slut crew along with some pretty hefty World renowned names and I wear my Slut colours with pride at every possible moment.

But you should all know that they have some mighty fine t'shirts, hoodies, jumpers and apple catchers (undies) as well as loads of other bits and bobs for you all to flaunt your stuff in plus the added bonus of free World wide delivery, not bad if i don't say so myself!

Anyway, go and check out the website. It's not all about the clothing though they have some pretty damn good lifestyle sections to. Click here to view Sluts website.

Cheers to the guys at Slut for the last parcel, keep em' coming!

Monday, 25 October 2010


Dan has recently got himself a new friend, she is called Kara and is one cute little bitch!

She can be a little tease sometimes and loves to bite but Dan loves her and I think she is pretty damn cool!

We took her down to the beach today, it took a bit but we got her in the water, although she wasn't very happy about it. She was pretty excited to be on the beach though and after half an hour of running around she needed a little snooze, bless her!

Nesting Turtles

Exmouth is one amazing place the last few nights have brought an amazing full Moon that was an awesome sight but not the only spectacular thing happening.

Along with the full Moon the local Turtles all make the mad rush up the West side beaches to lay their eggs. A few of us went down to check it out, the rules are pretty strict about how you act around them.

I know what your all thinking but no, your not allowed to ride them. Although my mate Jake really wanted to and it took a lot of convincing to stop him!

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Sorry Aaron

Being my friend sometimes isn't easy. I can be a handful and at times can go to far, which can be funny and create a laugh but can also be painful for my friends. Sorry Aaron but you were in a masochist mood and I was just trying to help you out with that!


Sorry Aaron from lloyd burnard on Vimeo.

Monday, 18 October 2010

Off the beaten track!

Now the Poo Log is up in Exmouth i thought it was appropriate to take it for an off road adventure. Myself, Luke, Dan and Katy decided a day driving through gorges and beaches was to be had.

Off the beaten track! from lloyd burnard on Vimeo.

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Warroora Station

After being back in Exmouth for only a few days since my jaunt to Perth I decided to try out my new friend, Poo Log, at Warroora (pronounced Warra) homestead station a few hours South. There is tale of a few amazing surf breaks there so i was hoping for a good couple of days in the water as the charts all be it a bit small showed some potential.

I tried to round up a couple of mates to join me but everyone was working or to busy to jump town for a couple of days. So it was just me and Poo Log, who if you haven't been keeping track of this blog is a 1985 HJ60 Toyota Land Cruiser.

I left Exmouth at 0630 and arrived in good time to pay the not so hefty price tag of $15, $7.50 a night. I did have one worry though to stay at some homesteads in WA you have to have a portable chemical toilet as there are no facilities what so ever, no toilets, no water, no electricity nothing at all. Well this was a bit of problem as i don't own a chemical toilet and because my plan to leave town was so last minute, the night before, i had no chance to borrow one. So i had to blag it which turned out pretty easy.

I pulled up at the homestead office and was greeted by a bewildered old bush man who was staring at his makeshift reception table and to be honest had the look about him that he wasn't quite sure how he got there or why the hell i was there. After a hardy handshake he asked if i had a toilet i just laughed and said of course what idiot goes to a homestead and doesn't. He didn't laugh he just grumbled away and demanded $15 which i was more than happy to hand over in exchange for two nights and a mud map of the homestead so i wouldn't get lost. I asked if there was any other campers on site to which he replied no and carried on staring at the table with the upmost interest.

So i was off, i drove along for some time just darting around the 4x4 tracks having a great time and putting Poo Log through it's paces. I wasn't to sure where i was going or where i wanted to camp that was until i stumbled across "The Lagoon'. A white sand beach with crystal clear water, i lowered the pressure in Poo Logs tyres and drove down the beach till i got to the far point where there was evidence of previous camp activity. I decided that i would camp here for the first night as i was able to park up about 5 metres from the Indian Ocean and it was the most idilic and peaceful place i have ever stumbled across.

I adventured around a bit more doing some pretty steep and serious off road tracks which Poo Log just ate up and relished, i found beaches covered in bright yellow crabs that were as camera shy as big foot and reef/beach breaks that showed some good potential even in the small swell.

I camped out that night and was joined late in the evening by a nice couple Peter and Liz Upton who were nice enough to cook me dinner and share some funny stories with. The next morning the swell had started to hit so i went exploring and found a couple of good reef breaks that looked near impossible to access without a boat or a bloody great fall off a cliff, i scored a small left hander but not for long as the wind picked up and WA being WA made a bit of a mess of it. I decided to do a bit more exploring further North of where i was and found some seriously good breaks and some beautiful beaches that were completely untouched. I found some amazing 4x4 off road tracks through soft massive sand dunes which Poo Log again lapped up and i only got bogged two or three times, which was my own fault and not the Poo Logs but it was easy enough to get out and carry on.

I set up camp for the second night at another beautiful beach called 14 mile, there were a few old couples down there all with their caravans and all the gear, but i found a secluded spot no more than 10 metres from the ocean and settled in. After a few hours though the wind hadn't dropped off and was almost gale force and i made the decision to head back to Exmouth before it got dark.

I can hand on heart say that Warroora is one of the most amazing places i have ever been to and i will be heading back there as soon as possible. The potential for good waves and good times is very evident and i can't wait to spend some more quality time there soon.

Here's a few photos...

The Lagoon, the bottom right corner is where i camped.

Exploring Warroora

14 Mile Beach

Monday, 11 October 2010

Long Lashes Liam

Long Lashes Liam
Was a boy of Fourteen
Very straight and very lean
But not all was well and not all could be seen

His lashes were long and his head was bald
For Liam was different but not at all mauled
His eyes so blue, so telling and true

He would try to eat food but would end up in a fowl mood
Every meal would feel like a test before the clean up of all that mess
With Burgers and Bananas caught in his lashes
It was a wonder why he never wore safety glasses

His Mother would cry
'Oh, Long Lashes Liam why are you so different. You were born with lashes as long as a cows, we just don't why and we just don't know how!'

Long Lashes Liam would reply
'But Mother is there nothing we can do, no Doctor, no Surgeon you could take me to?'

For all the Doctors in the land had been and seen our young lad
All had left bemused and feeling rather sad
Nothing could be done for Long Lashes Liam
No operation, surgery and no one else to see him
He was left alone with his own feelings

Then one day when enough was enough
Liam grabbed them by their scruff and pulled and pulled till his eyes felt rough
He pulled so hard hair began sprouting on his head
A miracle it was they all said
He pulled so hard his eye brows sprouted
A sight he nearly doubted

He pulled some more till the length of his lashes
Became nothing more than small little dashes

Now Long Lashes Liam is no longer
His lashes normal, his head of hair, his bushy brows they are all there
No need to look no need to stare
For Liam is normal no longer with his flair of rare hair

Written by Lloyd Burnard

Onen hag Oll, Kernow bys vyckan!

Onen hag Oll, Kernow bys vyckan! One and all, Cornwall forever!

I'm not one to be Politically motivated and I never really want to push whatever Political views I may have onto anyone. But recent news from home has stirred me up a bit.

I am Cornish, no matter where I am and who I am talking to I always make a point of correcting them if they say I am English, or as it happens right now in Australia a 'Pom!' I was born and bred in Cornwall and have roots that span many generations. I am Cornish and I am very proud of it.

I have always held onto the view that Cornwall should be ruled by the Cornish and not by London, Westminster. I feel we should have been united many years ago very much like the Welsh and Scottish have been able to do and create our own Parliament. But I also realise that this is easier said than done. Cornwall has for to long been the playground for the English rich and with the ever decreasing number of the young Cornish generations being able to stay in Cornwall and create a life for themselves due to ever increasing house prices, lack of career orientated jobs and the ever increasing amount of Emit (holiday makers) bullshit we have to put up with it scares me to think that Cornwall is slowly being choked of it culture and distinctiveness to suit other cultures' needs.

I feel that Cornwall has been ignored by England and it is being neglected by it's own people. We should be fighting to keep our Culture alive. Schools should be teaching the Cornish language, Cornish people should speak up and fight for what is rightfully theirs and London should be paying attention to Cornwalls Political and Economical abilities.

The problem is that us Cornish are a carefree bunch, we bumble along happy in the knowledge that we are unique and that we are recognised as such, well England doesn't recognise us and i am asking you all to do a little research into Cornwall so you know where i come from and why i am slightly different... click here

The reason for this post is it seems that the English Government has decided it wants to merge parts of Devon and Cornwall, two very different areas with their own unique Cultures. This would undermine Cornish heritage and lead the way to breaking Cornwall apart. Even if you are not Cornish or living in Cornwall I ask you to just take a minute to write a comment on this site...

Keep Cornwall Whole

Merastawhye ha comero weeth na ra whye gara an vorr goth rag an vorr noweth coweth wheag.
Thank you and take care that you don't leave the old road for the new road dear friend.

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

What the f*ck!!!

I'm heading back North today and I was hoping for a stress free cruisy day just me and the Poo Log having our first road trip with no dramas. But alas, no, me being me there of course has to be a drama and it's not even 0800!

I filled up the Poo Log the other day at a Gull Automated Service Station, meaning it's got the pumps and a payment machine and thats it, no employees, no shop not even bins. What you do is you swipe your card and they take an authorised amount and then you fill up, they state that you only pay for what fuel you have used and the authorisation is incase you drive off.

Thats all well and good but when they decided to clean my account out and not take the right amount i was a little pissed off to say the least. I have battled with Gull via phone calls to sort this out and apparently the best they could do is send a fax to their bank and tell them to release the over charged amount into my account. All well and good but this could take hours and i'm going to be beyond civilisation in a few hours and unsure whether they have kept their word, my advice is that if you are ever in WA, never even if you are tempted by their cheap fuel prices use Gull servo's. Bloody twats!

Lets just hope it all pans out and I can at least get to Geraldton before i run low on fuel,it's going to be a close call!

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Wow, what a mental few days!

I'm in Perth at the moment at my mate Loweys Step Uncles house, the guys, Mickey, Riv, Tom and Ferg have lent me their Land Cruiser, which is unreal and i can't believe how lucky i am. It's a 1985 HJ60 named simply 'Poo Log'. I've spent the last two days with the help of Neil (Toms Step Uncle), who is an amazing source of Cruiser knowledge, fixing bits and cleaning it inside and out as the boys have neglected the cosmetics and general up keep for awhile no doubt cause they're always rushing here and there, but it is as sound as a pound and runs very well. I've spent a fortune on bits i'm going to need back up North mainly off road accessories like tyre deflators, air compressor, snatch strap, jerry cans and loads of other things and when the boys are back they can keep it all as no doubt they will need it all at some point.

Neil has a great family his Wife Sue is really nice and is a Education Assistant at the local school and has been feeding me and looking after me. Their Son, Alex, 7 and Daughter Lilly, 5 are both amazingly cool and so full of life it's tiring just watching them run around taking on the World as each day brings a new adventure for them. It keeps me grounded and fresh in the knowledge that we should all act the age of 7 at some point in our lives if not just a little bit a day.

Alex reminds me of me when i was his age, he loves collecting shells, bugs and anything to do with wildlife. He has also very kindly donated his bedroom for me to stay in, it's amazing he has precious stones and other cool wildlife things in there, it is exactly what my room looked like 22 years ago! He's even given me some of his favourite collections to take on my travels with me, i will cherish them and keep them with me always as i know it was a big thing for him to do. Lilly is the spitting image of my Sister Elly and loves her girly things as did Elly all those years ago.

It's been good here and has made me think of home a lot and how much i miss my Family and reminded me how important Family life is.

But all though it's fantastic here and i feel very relaxed, getting to this point was another story...

I left Exmouth for the drive to Perth at 0400 with a couple of girl friends from Exmouth, Sam and Alana and on a good day it's a 12 hour drive. At 0630 travelling at 100kph I hit a pretty large kangaroo head on as i came over the brow of a hill, pretty crazy stuff. The girls have only just past their driving tests so i'm glad i was driving. Due to the car not having a Roo Bar it caved the whole front end in. We were in one of the girls little sports car and were lucky thats all it did. I have been told if you can't stop in time just hit it full pelt and do not swerve, so thats what happened and it was the right thing to do.

Unfortunately it pushed the aircon radiator back into the main radiator which ruptured and pissed coolent everywhere, we were just under an hour from the nearest servo, as we were in the middle of nowhere we just jumped in the car and took it easy to the servo stopping ever now and then to top up on coolent. We made it but the car was a mess and we had to make a decision as to what to do. We all wanted to carry on but with the car in such a state and the temperature already hitting 40 degrees it was pretty tense. Luckily for us a very nice Gentleman, Collin, and his Grandson, Luke, were on hand to help pull the radiator out and have a go at fixing it, he had all the tools and was an old sheep farmer that was used to bush mechanics and full of some interesting stories that passed the time easily enough, he was thankfully a lifesaver. After 4 hours of undoing, moving, bending, fixing, sealing, stretching, swearing, sweating, oil spatters, coolant sprays and putting back together we were on our way again with the decision that now the radiator all be it bent and definitely not a 100% was not pissing coolent and causing any immediate alarm to carry on to Perth, still 10 hours away.

We all had our reason as to why we had to get to Perth but mine was that I wanted to see my mate Nat who has been and still is touring with Joy Division on their Unknown Pleasures tour as their lead guitarist. I wanted to get there for 1800 to hang out and catch up prior to the gig but didn't get there till 2200. I still managed to catch the last 40 minutes of the set though which included my favourite song 'Love will tear us apart', which Nat completely nailed and give me goose bumps!

When i finally got to the Astor Theatre in Central Perth it was packed, hundreds of people all jumping and dancing to the beat of Joy Division. I saw Nat on stage in full solo mode with Peter Hook and the boys ripping it up, so I just barged my way through the masses to the front of the stage, with everyone i passed or pushed out of the way swearing at me, punching me in the back and poking me, i even got pinched, how strange. I made it to the front with a lot of evils being thrown my way but i didn't care i had travelled 18 hours to see my mate.

He knew i was coming to the gig and I had kept him informed the whole way down of our misadventures so he knew I was late and maybe not going to make it at all but as he finished one of his full on guitar swearing revamps with the mini second of silence that followed I shouted 'Oi Nat!'. He looked up and gave me a huge smile, let go of his guitar and gave me a massive high five and a nod. I give him a thumbs up and turned to walk to the back of the mass of people but as i did every single person i had pushed, shoved and thrown to the floor had changed there demeanour and were now fighting to shake my hand and asking me who i was and whats the name of the guitarist, I was a little shocked as i expected another fight out of the middle age gladiators pit but i wasn't interested in any of them. I just found a quiet spot and drank my beer and enjoyed the show.

I met up with Nat afterward and we had a good catch up back stage and i met the the boys from Joy Division who already knew of my plight to get to Perth and were all very impressed with the effort I made to see them play, well I didn't say anything but i wasn't there for them i was there for Nat. We got pretty drunk that night but both of us were knackered so we ended up falling asleep in the hotel bar but woke up in Nats bedroom, no idea how.

We made up for it the next day, the feeling was in the air that we should drink till Nat had to leave for a gig in New Zealand at 1500. We bought some beers and sat on the bank of the Swan River, Nat even going for a swim trying to catch Puffer Fish in his pants. We were joined by some friends from Exmouth Alana and Bec and the mayhem commenced, we convinced them to drive us around Perth whilst we drank and made fools of ourselves until Nat left. Which came around far to soon. All in all it was an amazing couple of days, i just wish Nat could have stayed longer.

I've been in Perth only a few days but it feels like weeks. All going well I'll be heading back up North tomorrow, i normally don't mind the odd misadventure as I feel it is good for your soul to experience life on an uneasy footing but i could really do with an uneventful drive back to Exmouth!

I will be back to Perth at some point and look forward to catching up with Neil, Sue, Alex, Lilly and everyone else I have seen whilst down here again. Thanks for everything guys.

Roo bashing wagon...


Family time